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Joke of the Day

"100 people get the Swine Flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. ... 100 people get the Swine Flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and no one wants to wear a condom!"

"Jack is coming over. ""Jack from work or Jack and the..."" [a beanstalk comes up through the floor and crashes through the ceiling]"

"According to the second law of thermodynamics, you're supposed to share your hotness with me."

"Q: What kind of snake is it good to have on a car? A: Windshield vipers."

"Baller is short for ballerina"

"A Priest and a Rabbi are walking down the road.. and they see a boyscout bending over. The Priest says ""Man I'd screw that."" and the Rabbi replies ""Out of what??"""

"I'm thinking about going on a day trip but I just don't know where to get the LSD"

"I have so much Astronomy work it's out of this world."

"If you don't think monkeys are adorable, then you can suck macaque."

"What's the difference between minesweeper and my ex-wife? I've never beaten minesweeper"