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Joke of the Day

"I have so much Astronomy work it's out of this world."

"fat girls with small boobs are the reason i have trust issues"

"*puts leash around pet lobster* I think there will be games and lots of friends to play with Pinchy *walks into Lobsterfest* COVER YOUR EYES"

"How did the dog make gold soup? He put in 24 carrots."

"George stops at red light... A beautiful blonde stops just beside him. George pull down his window. She also pull down her window. George smiles and asks with a grin on his face "" you also farted?"""

"We met for coffee yada yada yada next thing I know we're in the back of my car covered in lobsters and her dog is driving us to the ER"

"I'm well known for my twice-baked potatoes. I can't get anything right the firstr time"

"Just saw a guy checking out my wife. Good luck buddy. I'm married to her and I don't even have a chance."

"My friend overheard me saying I could go for some malt liquor. Instead, the bastard got me a box of Whoppers. ""What the hell is this?!"" I said. ""Suck on them. Now, you're a *malt licker*!"""

"Good women are found on every corner of the earth but sadly the earth is round."