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Joke of the Day

"It's my dream to take a stretch limo to a drive thru, pay at the first window & pick up my food at the second window without moving my car."

"I told a joke to my Jewish friends about kosher food, but they didn't like it at all... they said it was too ham-fisted."

"Americans kill more Americans than ISIS kills Americans so we should probably play it safe and not let any more Americans into America."

"Aliens are taking people with . . . . . . .Big Dicks! Dont worry you are safe! Im just telling my favourite alternative news site that i wont be around for a while!"

"What's the difference between New Jersey girls and trash? Trash gets picked up."

"What's Gordon Ramsey's favorite movie? ITS FUCKING [removed]"

"Scientists have discovered secret of infinite electric pover... ... - a generator without 'Turn off' button."

"When I was young, I wanted to date a doctor for money. How superficial was that? Now it would be for the prescriptions."

"Ordinarily, staring is creepy. But if you spread your attention across many individuals, then it's just people watching."

"""Will you spend the rest of my life with me?"" ""That depends. When are you going to die?"""