211864

Joke of the Day

"Eating Your Homework Mom: Billy, why are you eating your homework? Billy: The teacher said it was a piece of cake!"

"A zendetta is when you launch a blood feud against a killer who murdered your entire family, but remain pretty chill about the whole thing."

"Did you hear about Joseph Stalin's personal yacht? They say it was a huge dictator-ship."

"Dinosaurs never had peanut butter and jelly and they all died."

"hey you guys... ...""homo erectus"""

"Battleship is a completely unrealistic movie... Everyone knows that Rihanna doesn't fight back."

"I'm against the marriage of anyone whose first instinct is to film and then show the world their elaborate proposal."

"What's the difference between a blond and a washing machine? When you drop a load into a washing machine it doesn't follow you around for a week."

"How does an Apple Watch owner know that it's midday? It's already run out of battery."

"Wife: You only half-listen to me. You're in a boatload of trouble. Me: Yes, let's buy a boat."