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Joke of the Day

"*throws keys at nearest sober person* DRIVE ME HOME PEASANT"

"If South Carolina is the Game Cocks Their offensive line would be the cock blockers"

"I have the Emergency Alert Warning sound set as the ringtone for when my wife calls."

"What did the gassy mummy say to the other gassy mummy? ""We have toots in common"""

"To the 20 year old girl who wrote an essay claiming she is too pretty to be allowed to lead a normal life:Same."

"Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing."

"How can you tell the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber Ask them to pronounce 'Unionized'"

"What did one orphan say to the other? Robin, get in the Batmobile!"

"What do you call a black mage? A Negro-mancer"

"You remind me of a beautiful star in the night sky... You each have your own gravitational pull."