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Joke of the Day

"I've got the eye of the tiger, the heart of the lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo."

"I'm like an onion When I cut myself i cry"

"[GoT joke] A Stark, a Baratheon and a Lannister walk into an inn and everyone you love DIES!!"

"I wanted to make an impromptu joke. But I wasn't ready."

"Where does the president keep his armies? In his sleavies."

"Yo mama is so fat... Yo mama is so fat she stubbed her camel toe!"

"A German got pulled over by the police in France. Police officer: ""Name?"" German: ""Heinrich Klimt"" Police officer: ""Age?"" German: ""31"" Police officer: ""occupation?"" German: ""No, no. Just visiting"""

"What's the worst part of an NFL wedding? Getting hit by Rice"

"Me....."" Hurry up honey or we'll be late."" Wife.. ""Oh, be quiet, Haven't I been telling you for the last hour that I'll be ready in a minute?"""

"My girlfriend left me today because I have developed a pasta touching fetish. I've been feeling Canneloni ever since. :'("