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Joke of the Day
"Before Facebook, I had told maybe six people ""Happy Birthday,"" ever."
Next Joke
"[Airport security] Guard: Your flight leaves in 5 minutes Centipede: No problem. I'll just run. I have 100 legs. Guard: Remove your shoes"
"John has 400 spiders, he eats 398, what does John have now? Cancer"
"Curiosity should start overthrowing the local government and drilling for oil any minute now."
"LPT: If you're trying to get over a crush just imagine them taking the wettest dump ever. Unless, of course, you're into that kind of shit."
"""Daddy, may I trouble you to clean a shocking amount of poo off my genitalia?"" - if babies could talk"
"So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods... The boy says, ""hey mister its getting dark out and I'm scared"" The guy says, ""how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"""
"What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower? A widower."
"Stephen Tyler looks like he's made from leftover pieces of Mickey Rourke."
"When coming out of any coma, try keeping your eyes shut for another day or two to see what everyone's saying about you."