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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst part of an NFL wedding? Getting hit by Rice"

"My cross-eyed friend was just diagnosed with depression. I'm not surprised - he never looks forward to anything."

"I got 99 problems and a bitch is one -JayZ"

"Why don't lobsters share? Because they're shellfish..."

"How many PETA members does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything."

"How many Socialists does it take to change a light bulb? None comrade, the bulb holds the seeds to its own revolution!"

"Why do college girls only hang out in odd numbers? Because they literally can't even."

"Why can't Jesus eat m&ms? they keep falling through. If you aren't offended. Swap out black Jesus and skittles. Happy Easter."

"There was a time when I was thin. Sure I was six years old, but I'm confident I can get back in those clothes."

"let us all return to a simpler time, such as when i believed astroturf was farmed in space and brought to earth"