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Joke of the Day

"My friend told me that sperm bank pays you $60 per shot Boy, do I have an expensive sock under my bed!!"

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"Environmentally friendly means to stop burning bridges and just throw people off of them"
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 189,463 times, you're the editor of HuffPo."
"What's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? Ones a crusty bus station, the others a busty crustacean."
"Going to work My boss told me yesterday, ""Don't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want"". But when I turned up at the office today in Ghostbusters gear, the bastard said I was fired."
"actualy the childrens story ""the three litle pigs"" is the first documented report of a wolf WHO CAN BREATHE HURICANES"
"Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred? Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat."
"How many Mexicans are needed to change a light bulb? Juan."
"ahhh. this weather takes me back to the glory days of stealing dad's lawnmower & joyriding all day until the squirrels made the blades stop."
"What is the difference between Chelsea and Leo di caprio? Chelsea got Oscar. huehuehuehue."
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