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Joke of the Day
"What is the difference between Chelsea and Leo di caprio? Chelsea got Oscar. huehuehuehue."
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"5 SECONDS AGO! What do we want? TIME TRAVEL JOKES! When do we want them?"
"TRUMP: Let's get that Muslim Band going ""Band? We thought you said ban"" TRUMP: No way, that's harsh. Also, how's that Mexican mall coming?"
"Why do they say cleanliness is next to godliness? Because every time i talk dirty to my wife she tells me to go to hell."
"How do you greet a German baker? Gluten Tag"
"Did you hear about the farmer's boy who hated the country ? He went to the big city and got a job as a shoeshine boy and so the farmer made hay while the sun shone !"
"Her: I'm just a vintage soul Me: and a vintage face.. That's how the fight started"
"*ties husband's hands to headboard* *turns out lights* *opens laptop* ""Welcome to my PowerPoint presentation 'Curtains: How About These?'"""
"How quick she mentions her husband/fiance/boyfriend is directly related to how creeped out she is by you."
"If Trump is elected president... He will be the first billionaire to move into government housing after a black man."