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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the Zodiac is turning himself in? He didn't appreciate the comparisons to Ted Cruz."

"Why was the ground all white after Custer's last stand? Because the Indians just kept coming, and coming..."

"My 6 year old has already asked me 4,327 questions this morning. I'm seriously considering getting another Vasectomy just to be safe."

"I take my coffee like I take my women... From behind"

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The Wheelchair"

"Why did the psychic get fired? Because she didn't see it coming."

"War: what is it good for? Resource acquisition, eliminating your enemies, blowing stuff up, feeling like a big man. So, lots actually."

"What's Funnier then an Obama Joke? DEZ NUTZ!!!"

"Every time I delete a selfie, I imagine the sound of a Gremlin being burned alive by the sunlight."

"What do vegan zombies eat? Graaaaains!"