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Joke of the Day
"I'm lazy, but not 'The guy who named blackbirds' lazy."
Next Joke
"Spent the entire day milking a single almond."
"Shoutout out to maps. I don't know where in the world I'd be without them"
"Cop: Save it for the JUDGE! Crook:Ok *crook wraps up last slice of pizza in foil* Lawyer: it's too bad the judge had to miss our pizza party"
"How do you get four old ladies to shout ""Fuck""? Get the fifth one to yell, ""Bingo!"""
"""You a cop?"" UNDERCOVER COP: No. ""So you wouldn't mind if I ... threw these donuts away?"" UC: *sweats profusely*"
"No my carpet doesn't match my drapes cause I don't have carpet , Duh...."
"I was going to major in cosmetology.. ..but then they shut down the space program.. idiots."
"What is Mike Tyson's favorite thing for a woman to wear? Thort thorts."
"So I was asked the past tense of 'think' in a English test today I thought and thought and thought and finally wrote 'thunk'."