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Joke of the Day

"Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because its the scenter."

"Boss: OMFG man what happened to ur eye? [cut to me riding a horse into the garage door during medieval role play] ""I ran into a door"""

"So they have warning signs for drivers to look out for pedestrians on their cell phone now. Put up warning signs for pedestrians that the driver might be looking at their cellphone. Problem solved"

"Baby you're so cute you made my page 404."

"Told my friends I couldn't make it to happy hour. Didn't tell them it's because I want to sit around sans pants and eat cheese for a while."

"If a mentally challenged person shows up late Is it ok to call him tardy?"

"A joke walks into a bar... Bartender says woah! I've never *meta* joke before"

"What did the Jamaican say when he lost the smelliest feet contest? DEFEAT STINKS!"

"A nose walks into a bar The bartender said ""I can't serve you, you are already off your face"

"Thor is definitely one of my top 5 favorite movies about hammers."