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Joke of the Day
"What was the last thing that went through the hostages head? A bullet."
Next Joke
"My girlfriend is so crazy she even traced down the girl who once kissed me in kindergarten."
"Never argue with somebody legally blind about spear fighting... they can hardly see your point."
"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? The Spanish Inquisition."
"Why do Trump supporters enjoy polish people at his rally... so that they can say that their ahead in the Poles. Polish gram-pa said it."
"Have you ever smelled mothballs? How'd you get their teeny legs apart?"
"When I was ten I played Secret Agent with my little brother. Turns out toddlers do not make good grappling hooks."
"It's always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I always say, ""I love you"" and they're like, ""thank you for choosing Domino's."""
"Stalk your awful ex on Twitter, Troll oll oll oll oll oll oll oll oll. 'Tis the season to be bitter. Troll oll oll oll oll oll oll oll oll."
"A guy came to my bar the other day and told me ""hey man I don't have much money, can you just give me your cheapest shot?"" . . I said ""Yeah, your ugly and your mom dresses you funny""."