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Joke of the Day

"Why did Trump insist on Hillary Clinton as Secretary of state? He doesn't believe women should get above secretary"

"Photons don't even matter."

"Kids have so many food allergies these days. In 15 years you'll be able to rob a bank with a bag of peanuts."

"In college I had 3 girlfriends at the same time. 10 years and a wife later, I have 0 girlfriends. Stay in school kids."

"Don't believe people who say they are constipated. They're full of shit."

"No one will ever be as excited as a dad that just drove somewhere in less time than the GPS said it would take."

"A woman walks into a bar Oh, I just wanted to say ""a woman walks into a bar"" because the jokes always start with ""a man walks into a bar""."

"Do blind people believe in love at first hear?"

"Cake day post: What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot"

"Pro tip: The Labor Day weekend is a great time to start drafting your Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas tweets."