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Joke of the Day

"Kids have so many food allergies these days. In 15 years you'll be able to rob a bank with a bag of peanuts."

"After a dinner party ...while taking plates to the kitchen my guest asked if the dishwasher was dirty. I said no, I believe she showered before dinner."

"[OC] What did the disgruntled barber give to the prince? A bad heir day."

"I just fired my liquid measurement calibration manager He had really poor litership skills."

"""Tom Brady did nothing wrong"" is Boston's ""The Confederate Flag isn't really about slavery."""

"/r/Jokes won the International Green Awards! 97% recycled content."

"TIL that soldiers in Vietnam ate small amounts of C4 plastic explosive to get high. No wonder the US defense budget blew up so quickly."

"How do you know when you're staying in a hillbilly hotel? When you call the front desk and say, ""I gotta leak in my sink,"" and the clerk replies, ""okay, Go ahead."""

"How do moms from West Virginia know when their daughters start their period? Their son's dick starts tasting like blood"

"3 Statisticians Go Hunting They eventually spot a deer. The first shoots 5 meters above his head. The second shoots 5 meters below his head. Then the third yells out ""We Got Him!"""