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Joke of the Day

"You know when geese are flying in a V, one side of the V is always longer than the other one? Know why that is? Cause there's more geese on that side."

"So you have better sunblock than me... Rub it in"

"Did you hear about Draymond Green's new comedy road show? It's like Gallagher, but instead of watermelons he only smashes kiwis."

"Top 3 situations that require witnesses:1) Crimes2) Accidents 3) MarriagesNeed I say more?"

"Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines."

"No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don't Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this."

"what was Stevie Wonders first words when he got his eyesight back? Who the hells been dressing me all these years?"

"I heard they're installing over 15,000 CCTV cameras in New Delhi for Obama's visit. That's ridiculous, it's not like he's going to steal anything."

"If the opposite of ""pro"" is ""con""...... Then the opposite of ""progress"" would be ""congress"" I^will^see^myself^out"

"Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's only human."