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Joke of the Day

"Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's only human."

Next Joke
 
"CNN just wondered if I'm sending disasters to punish you for your sins. No, I'm sending them to punish you for CNN."
"To all the girls who take pictures in the bathroom in public places, I'm taking a dump in the stall behind you....Don't forget to tag me"
"what does my dad and christmas crackers have in common? they show up once a year to make me cringe with their dad jokes, and then give me a shitty gift."
"Scientists have recently discovered the existence of a mentally unstable microscopic parasite on the moon... Apparently it's a real lunatic"
"How do you call a party with people who have epilepsy? Foam fest"
"Its no longer the little birdy that told you something. now days its ""i seen it on facebook."""
"Did you hear about the Italian husband who was talking during his sleep? He ended up giving his wife a black eye"
"WHAT ARE THOSE???? /u/doubledickdude - They're my cocks."
"Right now, several billion people aren't dating you. How rude is that?"