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Joke of the Day

"Since it would take human contact to get Ebola. Everyone on Twitter is safe."

"My welcome mat says, ""Oh shit! Not you again!"""

"What's the difference between an inaccurate hunter and a constipated owl? One's a shooter that can't hit, the other is a hooter who can't shit."

"If you play a Justin Bieber track backwards... ...You'll hear satanic messages. Even worse, if you play it forward, you'll hear Justin Bieber!"

"What's the difference between a DVD player and a cow's anus? If you answered 'I don't know,' I'm certainly not letting you borrow any of **my** DVDs in the future!"

"3 Jokes in one A gypsy with no siblings, came home from work and had a shower."

"What did one cancer cell say to the other cancer cell ? Let's go get Jobs."

"What do you call a lady pig planting seeds? A sow sow."

"If you're an astronaut and you don't end every relationship by saying ""look, I just need space"" then you're wasting everyone's time."

"Why was the wife worried that her husband was a light drinker? Every night, he'd go out and drink until it was light."