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Joke of the Day

"Me: I can't believe that they're still together after all the shit they have been through! Friend: Who? Me: My ass cheeks. I've got a bad case of diarrhea!"

"How many people with Alzheimer's did it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side."

"My Penis was in the Guinness world record book for the bigest penis Until the librarian told me to get it out."

"How many Police Officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, they were too busy beating up the room for being black."

"Q: Why did the bank drive-up window teller have tire tread marks across the back of his grey suit? A: From crawling across the street when the sign said: ""Don't Walk."""

"I told my cheating girlfriend I was studying to become a magician And for my first act, I was disappearing out of her life."

"What is moist, smells great, and is for dinner tonight? My poop"

"A pirate with a steering wheel on his crotch walks into a bar The bartender says, ""You know you have a steering wheel attached to your crotch?"" And the pirate replies, ""Arrr, it's driving me nuts!"""

"i tried to ignore my girlfriend's bulimia but she kept bringing it back up"

"Oh, you hate when guys stare at your boobs? You should call the police and report the person who ripped your top three buttons open then."