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Joke of the Day
"Why didn't Drake head on down to South Park? He would never leave his woes behind."
Next Joke
"I can't believe how different life was before *googles* Al Gore invented the Internet"
"What is green and smells like bacon? Kermit's fingers"
"I say hi to my dog about 600 times per day."
"""Just saw this text."" Just saw this lie."
"Why isn't the word gangster pronounced [Jang-ster]? Because there ain't no such thing as a soft 'G.'"
"Catholic church must be serious. Everything with Mass has gravity, after all."
"wife: YOU changed the sheets?! [flashback to me eating nachos in bed after she told me not to and getting cheese everywhere] me: Surprise!"
"The 209 members of fifa voted on the presidency yesterday sepp blatter won in a landslide victory with 8000 votes"
"If the speed of light is 186,000 miles/sec., what's the speed of darkness?"