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Joke of the Day

"A girl phoned me the other day and said...""Come on over, there's nobody home."" I went over. Nobody was home."

"Obama and Putin are fighting over a phone charger. You might even say they're in a power struggle."

"""Wanna go camping?"" ""No thanks, I have a house."""

"What do you call souvenirs from the last battle of the Napoleonic wars? Wat-heirlooms."

"u ever see those babies who r born with whole heads of hair and think ""ur going places. ur a baby who gets stuff done"""

"I had an argument with me Chemistry teacher today. I threw some NaCl at him and he yelled; ""HEY, THATS A SALT!"""

"A choir director addresses her students Choir Director: I have your audition piece in three different keys. Student: Does that mean you can open three different locks?"

"Where did the meteorologist stop for a drink on the way home from a long day in the studio? The nearest ISOBAR!!"

"I thought I understood the Saying ""When Pigs Fly"". but then, the Swine Flu."

"A skinny girl and an overweight girl are standing in line on Friday morning. As the Walmart manager unlocks the door, skinny girl says, ""remember, black Friday lives matter."""