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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the one about the two guys who voted no? Neither did aye."

"What's the difference between the US election and sex? During sex it's fun to choose between asshole and cunt."

"Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day ? Pupil: I get up early !"

"Do you know how I got out of Iraq? Iran"

"I just watched two mice screwing in a lightbulb But for the life of me, I can't figure out how they got in there."

"An atheist, a Muslim, and a Born-again Christian are seated together on a plane. They have a pleasant flight because they're not assholes."

"Some cats just sit there looking at you like you owe them money."

"Whenever I tell her that I want to put my Butterfinger into her MilkyWay, she Snickers."

"People who walk in front of the theater screen while you're watching a pirated movie on your computer are so rude."

"I'm really good mates with 25 letters out of the alphabet I don't know why"