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Joke of the Day

"What is a good dog? A dead dog."

"I wasted 400 years of my life trying to figure out if I was a vampire."

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? I eat map. I eat map who? *My job here is done!*"

"Two girls and a cup walk into a bar. They get shitfaced."

"What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender"

"Our kids seem to prefer Kraft mac and cheese over the usual spaghetti noodles and crushed up generic Doritos."

"""I'm so glad that pasting that text included the format of the original document!"" -- No one. Ever."

"Just met up with an old friend yesterday I asked where he's been I haven't seen him in years. He replied jail, cops don't approve of you selling pot in a school zone."

"My wife said she'd like another baby... ... I agreed, the one we have is fucking annoying!"

"Why did the cowboy adopt a wiener dog? He wanted to get a long little doggy"