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Joke of the Day

"Why will global warming eventually confuse women trying to reach orgasm? Because it will constantly be changing the position of the clittoral."

"Your cell should have a 'drunk mode' like 'airplane mode' so that no text messages or tweets leave your phone but you can still call a taxi."

"A Mexican, a Jew, and a colored guy go into a bar - The bartender looks up and says 'get the fuck out of here!'"

"Me: Is there something wrong with your pasta? 4-year-old: It's not a doughnut."

"Why don't they have driving lessons and sex ed on the same day in Saudi Arabia? They don't want to overwork the camel."

"""Honey, wouldn't you like to go back to the 60s?"" ""Of course not! I like today's technology too much."" ""But honey I'm talking about kilos you fat cow"""

"Islamophobia is a lot like acrophobia ... understandable to an extent."

"My Grandparents bought a new China set... They asked me what I thought of it... I said it was fine..."

"People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible."

"Just now, from my dad: Have you heard the new Christmas carol from India? We Vishnu a Merry Krishnas."