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Joke of the Day
"Life called: They're all out of lemons. It's over."
Next Joke
"I lift the toilet seat to take a piss and my girlfriend forgot to flush and the water is red. My first thought.... ...do we have any juice boxes in the fridge?"
"Thanks to Day Light Savings.... ....I've masturbated for an hour and 30 seconds."
"I like my women like I like my coffee. Quiet and in a cup."
"Why are men like paper cups? They're disposable"
"Friends: Let's roll a fatty Me: I have a name guys and pls don't"
"Why is it good news that Aroldis Chapman moved to the Yankees? Because pitchers don't hit in the American League!"
"What do you call the murder of Chickpeas? Houmous-cide."
"Someone asked me if I like fish balls. I don't know, I've never attended one."
"I saw an attractive woman spank her kid in McDonalds after he threw his fries on the ground, so I also threw mine on the ground."