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Joke of the Day

"Just bet myself that the guy walking ahead of me was rocking a mustache. Won. Rewarded myself with the delusion that I live a full life."

"I get beavers and similar animals mixed up. I otter know better."

"What did the Jew with a boner say when he bumped into a wall? Oowwww...my nose."

"Two guys are walking down the street and see a dog licking his balls... One of them says, ""man, I wish I could do that!"" The other says, ""well, maybe you should pet him first."""

"What's a cherry's favorite sex position? on top"

"Bioluminescent fry said to have a bright future"

"The food in our school canteen is perfect. If your a bug!"

"Bless me, Father, for I have used Comic Sans. It's been eight weeks since my last use of Helvetica."

"My girlfriend asked me to 'eat the booty like groceries' But I'm on a glute-free diet"

"Baby sister told me this one attn Harry Potter fans Sister: ""Harry's godfathers middle name should be 'Lee'"" Me:""wait, whose the godfather?"" Sister: ""Sirius Black"" Took me a minute."