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Joke of the Day

"Just bet myself that the guy walking ahead of me was rocking a mustache. Won. Rewarded myself with the delusion that I live a full life."

"Have you ever listened to someone talk for a while and started to wonder ""who ties your shoelaces for you?"""

"What is Al Qaeda's Favorite Football Team? The New York Jets."

"A friend sent me a gif of LA traffic Took me about a day to realise it was a pic. (based on a submission on reddit some time ago) Also, this joke is shit, i get that."

"such a hipster... they were into Adele before she got big."

"The barman says: ""We don't serve faster-than-light particles here."" A tachyon enters a bar."

"*Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman all avoiding eye contact with Aquaman as he walks in to work & sees Michael Phelps sitting at his desk*"

"What's the main ingredient in a Jedi martini? Qui-Gon Gin"

"Why don't lawyers play hide-and-seek? Nobody will look for them."

"Why did cavemen... drag their women by the hair? So they wouldn't fill up with gravel."