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Joke of the Day

"Baby sister told me this one attn Harry Potter fans Sister: ""Harry's godfathers middle name should be 'Lee'"" Me:""wait, whose the godfather?"" Sister: ""Sirius Black"" Took me a minute."

"Are there any rules for lending your kids out as migrant workers?"

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? ...none. They arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the shit out of the room for being black."

"What's the KKK's favorite Christmas song? White Christmas."

"My son was twice as hungry as me. So I only ate a one Na fish sandwich."

"How do you make a little boy cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on his teddy bear. (think about it)"

"Dad asks his kids what the third planet from the sun is called? Kids: - Earth! Dad: - Yeah, but it has another name. Kids: - Oh, dad. We don't know! Tell us! Dad: - Exactly! [drops mic]"

"According to my iPhone Health app, I walked 1,787 steps around this Golden Corral buffet tonight .... So I got that going for me."

"What do you call a Muslim father who works at a supermarket? a Baghdad"

"I don't have a dirty mind... I have a sexy imagination!"