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Joke of the Day

"That moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, hit a lamp, and kill your dog."

"Do you want to 68? You go down on me and I'll owe you one."

"I didn't see my face anywhere as a kid... ...then I realised it was right under my nose the whole time!"

"Why is it better to be a redditor rather than a suicide bomber? You are guaranteed to meet more virgins.."

"How come sneezes get a ""God Bless You"" but coughs get a cold unflinching silence?"

"Dog Teacher: did you finish your homework Dog Student: (still chewing) almost"

"why did they invent white chocolate? so black kids can make a mess too..."

"She told me to go deeper.... But I was all out of poems."

"In Soviet Russia, Turkey shoots you."

"My girl caught me blowing my dick with the air dryer, and asked what I was doing. Apparently, ""Heating your dinner"" wasn't a good answer."