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Joke of the Day

"A new survey shows that a fifth of British men have no idea how to turn on the washing machine. I find chocolates or flowers usually do the trick."

Next Joke
 
"I want to have kids before my parents are too old to be able to take care of them."
"A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, ""What'll it be?"" The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck."
"Law enforcement's cracking down on texting while driving, but there's no law against standing up and playing saxophone through your sunroof."
"How are Jimmy Carter and the Long Island Railroad the same? They both pull out of Roslyn every morning at 8:15."
"I get anxious when there aren't at least 24 pieces of advertising within my field of vision."
"how much can't could a white girl can't even if a white girl literally could not even."
"*buys 8 first class tickets, fills all of them with infants and toddlers* Me, from way back in coach: *cups hands* SUCK IT RICH PEOPLE"
"What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman."
"Next time you're on an elevator with a stranger say, ""If the doors open and it's all zombies, let's team up."""