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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? The boy scout comes home from camp."

"Here's a list of things I need you to accomplish without any resources to do them with. -management"

"when i tell guys i want a baby i just assume they kno i don't mean a human one. i want a baby antelope, a baby hedgehog, a baby lizard"

"What do sexy farmers say all day? ""Brown-chicken-brown-cow!"" And then they swagger a bit."

"Saudis Arabia recently got siri Saudi Arabian: Siri,call my wife Siri:which one?"

"What did the DNA say to the RNA? What are U doing here?"

"I dropped a piece of cheese on the airplane and i know it rolled forward and some piece of shit in first class is enjoying it now"

"WIFE: Carol's hubby gives her flowers EVERY day. I'd LOVE u to do that ME: Ok [next day] ME [giving Carol flowers] No I don't get it either"

"A waffle is just a more considerate pancake. It's like, here, let me hold that syrup for you in these convenient boxes."

"Q: Why is Bill Clinton called ""middle of the road Democrat""? A: Because he's got a wide yellow stripe down the middle of his two-lane back."