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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the pessimist who hates sausage? They say he fears the wurst"

"Why do golfers bring an spare change of pants? Just in case they get a hole in one. Credit to /u/Diablo182"

"Did you hear about the tropical birds who got stuck together? Well I won't explain now, it's toucan fusing."

"First Witch: I went to the beauty parlor yesterday. I was there for three hours. Second Witch: Oh what did you have done? First witch: Nothing I was just going in for an estimate."

"A few weeks ago I mentioned toilet paper in a tweet and got toilet paper in the mail. So, here goes: dragons."

"A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo? Probably an award or something. I mean, that would be pretty crazy. Alternative punch line: I don't know. The zoo won't let me try."

"Why did the vegetarian hate giving blow jobs? She was a lesbian."

"Why do Black people prefer big asses? Because they have a bigger machine to ride ( )"

"What do you call a half-white and half-Hispanic baby? A baby."