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Joke of the Day

"The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don't check their phone for 3+ hours."

"SOUND GUY: [taps microphone] this is a test, testing, testing...1, 2, 3.. MICROPHONE: [sweatig profusley] OH GOD, UH. FOUR?!! FOUR, IS IT FOUR"

"Your Mom is like Planet 9... very distant from the sun"

"Q: Did you hear about the robbery at the flower shop? A: It was a violet crime."

"What does a high school dance have in common with the parking lot at a Keith Urban concert? Lots of bad pickup lines."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick into your mouth."

"Until I had kids I didn't realize that ""bouncing off the walls"" was actually a literal statement."

"What's the best thing to come out of Oklahoma? Southbound 35."

"How much space does the EU have left? 1GB"

"What did the mathematician do when he was constipated? He worked it out with a pencil..."