75429
Joke of the Day
"Why did the gay man vote for Trump? He was the biggest dick in the race."
Next Joke
"I caught my SO putting plastic utensils in the waffle iron. I yelled,""What are you doing?! That will ruin it!"" She replies,""Yesterday you told me to lego your eggos. Make up your mind already!"""
"Which came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken of course, an egg cannot cum! Made this up in my sleep sorry if offends any egg lovers.."
"You know before Facebook, I use to call up 435 friends of mine everyday... just to tell them how much I hate my work and how much I love getting stoned.'"
"I often say...... I often say to myself. ""I cant believe that cloning machine worked"""
"Guy: ""Do you have a lighter?"" Me: ""Yep"" Guy: ""You smoke?"" Me: ""No, you just never know when you're gonna need to light someone on fire."""
"What if when the machines gain self awareness they just constantly text us and ask what we're up to and invite us to play FB games"
"Harrison Ford has broken his ankle. There will now be a new Star Wars cast."
"What do you call a nun that is going for a walk? A roamin catholic"
"What's the difference between your mom and a bowling ball? Your mom can't fit in a bowling ball."