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Joke of the Day

"Judge should've sentenced Lindsay Lohan to watch her own movies... oh wait, that's cruel & unusual punishment."

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"Phill: *gets stung by a stingray Me: *pees on his wound Phill: That only works on jellyfish stings Me: Oh shit, I thought you were dead!"
"What did the ninja do when he failed to kill his target? He sai'd"
"What US state has the most cows? Moosouri!"
"Today I opened the door to the supply room and four Japanese guys jumped out and yelled ""supplies!"""
"Knock knock Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Hammer. Person 2: Hammer what? Person 1: Hammertime! ^canttouchthis"
"I saw this dude trying to pick up a girl. Him: I would tell you a joke about about my penis, but its too long. Her: LOL, that's funny. I wanna tell you one about my vagina, but you'll never get it."
"Hawaiians were never known to be cannibals. Maybe a nibble here and there... You know, finger food."
"Are there any one word jokes ?"
"How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? - She starts her sentence with ""A man once told me..."""