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Joke of the Day

"Bernie Sanders fans say ""Feel the Bern."" Gary Johnson fans say Feel the Johnson."

"I don't want to do cocaine. I just want to know what it smells like."

"I made a joke up!!! Two midgets walk into a bar. edit: sorry I didn't set the bar very high for this joke. edit2: don't' worry- they're ok."

"What can't teenage girls do? Even"

"What do you call a fight between two dairy products? A fromage fray."

"An old man went underwear shopping. ""Boxers or briefs?"" Asked the clerk. ""Depends."""

"Maybe r/imgoingtohellforthis quality. 4chan ordered Dorner a delivery pizza for Dorner at the cabin, sadly the pizza was burnt when he received it. /leavesroom"

"I walked into my bosses office and yelled, ""Three to five cellular layers of skin."" ""What?"" he laughed. ""I'm just saying what's on everyone's lips."""

"You always agree with me and like what I say even if you don't believe me. What am I? An upvote"

"HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 1) Put a saddle on it 2) Get on 3) Oh god it's destroying the village with fire 4) WHY DIDN'T I GET A CAT INSTEAD?!"