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Joke of the Day

"An old man went underwear shopping. ""Boxers or briefs?"" Asked the clerk. ""Depends."""

"So this hot girl checked me out today... The total was $7.83"

"What happened to sneaking out and getting drunk in the woods? Teenagers these days be all ""I hate you mom I'm joining ISIS."""

"Did you hear about the patriotic zombie who wanted to serve his country? He joined the Marine Corpse."

"Where does a russian bird sleep? IN A COMMU-NEST"

"Fell asleep next to a beautiful woman I met last night. I tell you what, she was PISSED to wake up next to a stranger... And that goes double for her husband."

"NSSSA -National Stutter Association."

"McDonalds just started their Monopoly game again with an increased 1 in 4 chance of winning a prize/obesity/explosive diarrhea!"

"I'm pretty sure that the guy who wrote about the Apocalypse was a meteorologist."

"Two tomatoes cross the road and one of them gets hit by a car. The other one looks back and yells ""C'mon, ketchup!"""