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Joke of the Day

"Friend : ""I wasn't that drunk!"" Me : ""Dude a thief stole your T.V and you ran after him screaming ""YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!!!"""

"What do you tell your wife with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice."

"My grandma can't wrestle But you should see her box."

"best nicknames: 1) Nick 2) 3)"

"Being a Zombie doesn't sound that bad. You don't have a job and your entire day is spent looking for things to eat. Shit, I do that now."

"I commend any woman for going into labor outside a hospital setting. If I have to poop anywhere besides my own bathroom I go into panic mode"

"Kids, rap music has been around since 1979, we've all heard it. You aren't being edgy by playing it loudly at an intersection."

"Have you ever smelled moth balls? How did you get those tiny little legs apart?"

"What did Drake say to 2Chainz as he was leaving da club? Challah at ya boy!"

"Nintendo managed something astonishing in this week's Nintendo Direct announcements... People finally gave a shit about Cloud based gaming."