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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a tea cup and pea cup? A teacup is what the British drink out of and a pea cup is what the Mexicans drive."

"""Sorry I didn't have a chance to clean up the place,"" I say as I wave dismissively at the chalk outline drawn on the living room floor."

"Wanna hear a dyslexic joke? Knock there who's knock?"

"Two of the three times I've jumped out of a moving car, Beiber was on the radio. The other time my grandma entered the freeway the wrong way."

"Willie Nelson, 81, found dead... He was playing 'On The Road Again'"

"You deserve a standing ovation from my tallest finger."

"A guy in a public place, phone out, camera on... He approaches a young woman. ""What are you doing, creep?"" she says. He glances up, smiles, and says ""Calm down. I'm just trying to get a Pikachu."""

"Eye of the Tiger came on the radio so I jumped out my car and shadow boxed till the light turned green."

"What Do You Call A Blank Piece Of Paper? WOMEN'S RIGHTS!!!"

"This Vietnamese couple I knew got married... Luckily for them they shared the same last name so it wasn't a big hassle for either of them. It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation."