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Joke of the Day

"I plagiarized a book about native Americans... I eventually got siouxed."

"You know who brings a knife to a gun fight? Cannibals. And also a fork."

"He was in a pub when he proposed. It was very romantic he got up on one knee."

"Q: What's a little quicker than a shark? A: The Little Mermaid on her period."

"What do you call a scientific measuring instrument with degrees? A graduated cylinder. -------------------------------------------------------------------- This is the only joke I've ever thought of."

"Police Officer: Do you speak English? Jose: Yes. Police Officer: Where are you from? Jose: Yes"

"Me: sandwich for lunch? 6yo: noooo!!! Me: how about salami, tomatoes, cheese & bread? 6: YES!! I win."

"I dont like circles They're *pointless*"

"*Flips over cards* It was your TC in the KIK room with the retweeter."

"Son: ""Dad! My lsd is missing!"" Dad: ""We have bigger problems son, there's a dragon in the kitchen."""