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Joke of the Day
"What does an engineer use for birth control? Their personality."
Next Joke
"Whats the best thing about dating Nicki Minaj? She won't fall in the toilet if you leave the seat up."
"How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men"
"""So, doctor, do I have cancer or not?"" ""Oh Jesus Christ, holy shit, tons of it,"" said the doctor to Martin Shkreli."
"Why are gay men so well dressed? ~~7~~ They didn't spend all that time in the *closet* doing nothing!"
"Hey Cutie ever do it in a sleigh?"
"I got sent out of class today at school. The teacher yelled at me, ""What would your parents say if I called them?' I replied, ""Hello?"""
"Who loves you more, your wife or your dog? Lock them both in the trunk of your car for an hour. Guess who is happy to see you when you open the trunk?"
"I saw a guy on his motorcycle and the back of his shirt said ""If you can read this the b*tch fell off."""
"My 2-year-old ate the crust off her pizza but left the cheese and pepperoni untouched. Apparently I'm raising the Antichrist."