209599

Joke of the Day

"Who loves you more, your wife or your dog? Lock them both in the trunk of your car for an hour. Guess who is happy to see you when you open the trunk?"

"You're never drinking alone if you nickname your ice cubes."

"older woman => young dude: cougarnolder man => young women: manthernolder man => younger men: faguarnolder woman => younger women: sheetah"

"Longest minutes ever: 1. Waiting on a text 2. Waiting on your food to get out the microwave 3. Commercial while watching a good show."

"every year you pass your birthday and know that you were born that day but every year you pass your death day and have no clue"

"My wife has so many shoes the bedroom looks like the outside of a mosque."

"Hilary and Trump are on a sinking boat. Who is saved? America"

"I love Chinese food as much as the next guy, but you'll never convince me a chicken fried this rice."

"Where's a lesbian's favorite place to shop? The Liquor store"

"Why did the Senator get on Viagara? He wanted to achieve erection reform."