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Joke of the Day

"""Officer, what can you tell us about the break in at the bakery today?"" ""Man I've seen all kinds of thieves in my career, but this one takes the cake"""

"Why was Cinderella kicked off the baseball team? She kept running away from the ball"

"My body is a temple... And it's devoted to Dionysus. Cheers."

"From my gf Me: What are you planning on doing on MLK day? Her: I plan on sleeping all day Me: ...Why? Her: I want to have dreams too"

"My iPhone just autocorrected the word nigga to NIGGA, like whoa iPhone. You can't just go around yelling the N word. Jesus."

"Q. What do you call 1000 heavily armed lesbians? A. Militia Etheridge"

"Girl: I think we should just be friends Me: ya okay, but I get to be Chandler!"

"What does Magneto do when his computer gets dirty? He wipes the hard drive."

"So, I was eating out my grandmother... ...and I tasted horse semen. ""Oh,"" I thought to myself, ""so that's how she died."""

"Just cracked Forest Gump's password. 1forest1"