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Joke of the Day

"So, I was eating out my grandmother... ...and I tasted horse semen. ""Oh,"" I thought to myself, ""so that's how she died."""

"I wish instead of Grammar Nazis there were Grammar Angels. They'd quietly whisper, ""Baby, you made a mistake. Let me fix it for you. -hug-"""

"What do elephants say as a compliment ? You look elephantastic !"

"Why are storms always called girls names? Because when they come they are always wet and uncontrollable, and when they disappear they take or destroy all your stuff"

"What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date? Patient."

"When I went to bed last night I had 47,000 followers. Now I have 700. Did I spell something wrong?"

"What do you call a piano composer that smokes? Tarcoughski"

"The new stars wars episode has been named Episode seven: return of the lens flair"

"What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Walking"

"What did one boob say to the other boob? You're my breast friend. Badum-tits."