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Joke of the Day

"I'm really good at digging underground to find sources of water. You could say it's something I do well."

"I wrote a joke about pigeons. Stoned pigeon poetry: High Coo"

"Alfred: About your girlfriend Catwoman... Batman: Yes, she's a thief, but- A: No, she pooped on the rug again. Right next to the litter box!"

"Why was the Moon in a bad mood? It was just going through one of its phases."

"What do you call a mix between an elephant and a rhino? 'Ell if I know"

"Have you heard of the nuttiest band in rock n roll? The almond brothers... I'll go now"

"[pulls away from kissing] do you ever pretend nfl players with dreadlocks swinging around under their helmets are predators"

"Look out man! You know the difference between driving in the fog and 69ing is? You can't see the asshole in front of you driving in the fog."

"I finally admitted to my girlfriend, ""I think I struggle with gender issues... ...because whenever I see you girl, I realize I wanna be inside a woman's body."""

"What's black and runny? Usain Bolt."