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Joke of the Day

"Kid: I want to give grandpa tickets to a Michael Jackson show! Dad: you can't, he's been dead for years now, and so is Michael Jackson."

"Out of all Katherine Heigl films, I enjoyed the one where she starts with being a prude but ends up having fun with a guy and falls in love."

"At my last checkup the doctor said he needed a urine sample, a semen sample and a stool sample ... ... I said "" Doc, I can speed this along - I'll just leave you my underwear !"""

"My Dad used to say ""Always fight fire with fire"" That's probably the reason they threw him out of the fire brigade."

"A priest and a rabbi are standing on a corner when a 5 year old boy walks by. The priest says, ""Hey. Let's fuck that boy"". Replied the rabbi, ""out of what?""."

"When I see a car with a Romney bumper sticker driving near a car with an Obama sticker I want them to turn into transformers & battle"

"Luke Skywalker and Yoda are on a ride when... **Luke**: *Are we on the right course, Master Yoda?*. **Yoda**: *Off course we are*."

"What did one ghost say to another? I'm sorry but I just don't believe in people."

"How do you burn a lot of calories at once? Douse a fat person with gasoline and light a match"

"23 Mind-Blowing Ways You'll Never Get Back the Time Spent Reading This List"