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Joke of the Day

"ComedyTime: I think I'm a Moth http://www.comedytime.tv/view_video.php?viewkey=5bd5cf89ce39d9690346"

"Red, White and Blue represent freedom until you see them flashing behind your car."

"What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne waits until a boy is at least 14 before coming on his face."

"Standup comedian It gets up in public, at public places; thus making me awkward, and the passersby laugh. My dick is a great standup comedian."

"How Do You Make a Plumber Cry Kill his Family."

"I got a chainsaw in the mail today. Now I have to send saws to five other people."

"[at preschool open house hearing nut allergy policy] *raises hand* What if I draw a peanut on her napkin? Wife: Please go wait in the car"

"Flint Lead Did you hear they discovered the number one source of lead poisoning in Flint MI is not the water.......it's the bullets."

"Don't go over-analyzing my statuses. If I made sense all the time I wouldn't need to be here so much."

"If you're not fully satisfied with your life, do something about it. Or complain about it on the internet. Whatever."