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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear? Viagra doesn't do anything for lawyers... It just makes them stand taller for a while"

"I just bought a Pontiac that sexually identifies as a Ferrari It's a Trans Am"

"Cop: You there! Hands over your head! Me: *raises hands* *30 avocados fall out of shirt* Cop: Holy guacamole!"

"Mexicans and Muslims have a lot in common now... If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

"Tory Spelling walks into a bar The barman asks, ""Why the long face?"""

"How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters? All tongue-in-groove, with no studs."

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life and you've already screwed it up."

"New machine at the gym. They installed a new machine at my gym today, I managed to do 2 hours on it. They do all sorts. Snickers, Kit-kats, Mars bars, you name it..."

"What would Jesus do? Get nailed to a cross and bleed out."

"What do gay alligators eat for breakfast? Cockadiles"