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Joke of the Day

"Glass of wine a night A woman drinking a glass of wine a night can increase the chances of a stroke. A full bottle and you might get a blowjob."

"Why don't witches wear panties? Better grip"

"What has arms but can't move them? A small child paralyzed from the waist up."

"I find it in poor taste that the 1am drive-thru attendant asks ""How are you?"" Not good, Maria. Clearly."

"""I'm so nervous,... ...this is the first time that I'm with a prostitute."" ""Just relax and tell me what you like."" ""I like turtles"" :-)"

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man? None"

"Splinter: Leo. Mikey: I'm Michelangelo. That's Leo. Donny: I'm Donatello. That's Leo. Leo: I thought I was Raphael. - Why they wear masks"

"Why is Florida not an island?? Because Georgia sucks..."

"So I posted an opposing view on r/The_Donald [removed]"

"You know what's odd about those girls at Starbucks? They, like, literally can't, even."