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Joke of the Day

"*2 pieces of bread being held hostage* bread 1: any way you slice it we're toast bread 2: we're dead wheat me: did my breakfast just talk"

"Why dont sharks ... Why don't sharks eat black people? They think it's whale shit"

"You know what makes me smile? Face muscles."

"My friend stole my capacitor I told him that wasn't farad all"

"Where are all the people that just have one sclerosis?"

"How do you make an archaeologist blush? Show him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from."

"Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The reception was great!"

"Grammar died so that Twitter could live."

"What's the main difference between a man and a woman? It's what comes to mind when they think of the word facial."

"Why can't Chinese people tie their shoes? I would love to tell you, but I am afraid the answer is a little bit lacist."